9.11.10. So, I've been sick for a couple days, and something occurred to me: Sometimes, we feel invincible. Like, when we nail an audition or have a GREAT day at school. Sickness kind of takes away that pride and reminds us about the delicate balance God has created inside us. One itty-bitty virus, and we're lying on the couch, miserable. A piece of bad fish or chicken could give you hours of misery, puking. It hit me how complex God created us to be, and that he maintains that balance, all the time.
4.2.11 I was at a Christian youth conference called District Blitz this weekend, and I learned Some valuable things, not necessarily from the sermons, but from God-to-Mo communications. You see, I made a decision beforehand that I'd start opening up to people more, because that's one of my biggest weaknesses. I don't like being vulnerable, and I keep some intense brick walls up around my heart when it comes to relationships with my friends. For the first time ever, I had a deep conversation with one of my best friends, and I said things that I've never told ANYONE before, not even myself, really. It was a major moment.
11.11.11 This school year, God's been showing me the profound difference between loving someone and being in love. For good measure, I've also been dealt a few tests of my patience along the way. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting STILL. (Isaiah 40:31)
9.10.10 The other day, I was driving in the car with my mom and turned on the radio. The first song on is 'Hero' by Superchick. Here are some of the lyrics:
"No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in,
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him,
'Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
Its not like you hate him or want him to die,
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,
Any kindness from you might have saved his life..."
That's kind of what God has been teaching me during this past summer so I thought it was cool that that song applied so much to my life. But then... I still don't know what song it is, but it was talking about reaching out to the hurting...I turned to my mom. "I think I'm getting a message here."
9.25.10 These last two weeks, God has been teaching me to let go. And I finally got what He was trying to tell me on Wednesday night at my youth group. Earlier that day, it had been See You at the Pole. I was praying with the followers of Christ who could come, and after I had got done praying, I realized how light I felt. It was like a huge weight that I hadn't really noticed was there until I let go of it and gave it to God. I hadn't really though about it until we were worshiping that night and I thought about how great it felt to be free.
10.15.10 This last week, God has been showing me that I'm never alone, and when I feel like I am, all I have to do is cry out to Him, with everything I have, and give it all up. Being completely broken for Him is what He desires from each and every one of us because when we come to the point, we cling to Him, and don't see our false idols. We just see Him in all His glory reaching out for us with His hand beckoning us back to Him and His loving mercy. If we can't feel Him, that time will not go wasted, because during that time we will become strengthened, and more devoted to Him through it.